XXXI. Crime Robot. March 10, 2020

>driving Lyft

>it’s late, well past midnight

>I’m a bit tired, kinda loopy

>park at Urban Enclave, a student apartment complex

>sit, wait

>and then I see it

>moving towards me

>big white thing with eyes

>making buzzing noises

>seriously wtf is that thing

>huge, big as a refrigerator

>gliding across the parking lot

>coming towards me

>alright y’all I ain’t fuckin around what is that thing

>looks like Wall-E’s girlfriend cheated on him with a Dalek

>and birthed a giant suppository that can illuminate itself

>It consumes my attention

>moving ever closer

>I can see nothing but this monster, inexorable

>is it coming for me

>does it see me

>does it know

>the car door flies open and three college girls climb in

>Bendershitsabrick.jpg

>I yelp like a puppy

>but thank the Lord they are here

>maybe they can see it too

>it must be weird to get in a car after midnight

>with a guy that looks like me

>talks like me

>who begins to rave about a monster in the parking lot

>”the fuck is that thing?” he says.”Do y’all see it? Tell me y’all see it!”

>the girls laugh

>one says “That’s just the crime robot. It’s new.”

>Oh, it’s just the crime robot, that’s all

>perfectly normal