LXXVII. Unicorn Kid. April 29, 2021

>driving Lyft

>I finally catch my unicorn at 7:10pm on a Thursday

>he does not come in a form I expect

>my unicorn is a teenager

>a Black kid

>no way he’s old enough to drink

>looks and dresses like The Weeknd, but more Chris Tucker-ish

>I, of course, look like Chris Stapleton  survived a zombie apocalypse holed up in a brewery

>we make a silly pair, my unicorn and I

>my unicorn proves his unicornity

>unicorniness

>when I ask him if we are really going to Orlando

>and he says “Yeah man! You know that’s how we do!”

>so I have scored a four-hour Lyft ride

>244 minutes, saith the app

>which will mean $246

>more than I normally make in two days

>I tell him how appreciative I am

>how his is my record longest Lyft ride by far

>he says “That’s whassup” and puts his headphones on

>and nothing happens

>we say fewer than twenty words over four hours

>my unicorn sleeps most of the way

>I am an X Holden Caulfield driving a Zoomer Phoebe

>at one point he borrows my charger

>at another point I stop for gas and he gets food at the Wendy’s

>he is listening to music

>I am not

>I drop him off around midnight at some nameless, cookie-cutter apartment

>and that’s it

>my unicorn story is a boring story

>but it makes for a damn good headline

>BLACK KID TRAVELS UNEVENTFULLY ACROSS FLORIDA