CXV. Joke Like That. August 15, 2023

>driving Lyft

>pick up college-aged kids having themselves a date

>they are getting all giggly and touchy-feely back there

>suddenly the girl goes “Help! Help!  He’s assaulting me! He’s holding me against my will!”

>they laugh together

>I am unamused

>unamused enough to slam on brakes and park cattywampus at a Moe’s

>I turn around and point at her like she’s my kid

>”Don’t you EVER joke about shit like that, you understand me?”

>the mood, of course, was ruined

>and I hope I scared the shit out of them

>both are contrite

>they apologize and blame the alcohol

>they promise not to do it again

>the girl says “What would you have done if I was serious?”

>”One of y’all would get the fuck out of my car,” I say,

>”and you’d get to pick who”