CXVI. Shrek. August 15, 2023

>driving Lyft

>get called down to a cul-de-sac of apartments

>a gaggle of children is milling about in the street

>the oldest of them might be ten

>as soon as I stop the car, three of the medium-sized ones jump in my back seat

>they say nothing, just stare at me like I’m a cop

>one comes to my driver’s side window

>she is holding an iPhone before her 

>it is the Gospel in a Mass procession

>it bears the face and voice of one of their grandmothers

>the grandmother says five of the children are to get in my car 

>and I will bring them to her house

>and this is all fine and legal 

>because she will be on the phone the whole time

>I say it is neither fine nor legal

>and I ain’t doing it

>I tell the children to get out of my car

>they don’t move

>they just stare

>the one with the phone shoves it further in my face

>I have no choice

>I am forced to go completely Shrek

>and yell them the fuck out my swamp