CXIX. Presbyterians. September 4, 2023

>driving Lyft

>it’s Sunday morning

>I pick up this old white lady from one of those retirement skyscrapers

>she is bubbly

>says “Oh, my daughter got this ride for me so I could go to church

>”I need to hear the choir sing! I need something happy!

>”I am just so tired of all the political stuff

>”all the social issues they keep talking about”

>I say something noncommittal

>NPR is on in the background

>they say something about climate change

>lady laughs and says

>”See? Like that. All they wanna do is put us in the ground and steal all our money

>”There is no science behind that mess. None. They just make it up as they go along”

>I say nothing

>drive downtown

>I pull up to the Presbyterian Church on Park Avenue

>lady acts genuinely disgusted

>”Oh no! I don’t go THERE anymore. Take me next door to the Methodist Church”

>I do so

>as she is getting out, lady says “All they do in that church is talk about social issues and ask for money for their outreach programs. I’m done with them.”

>so there you have it, Presbys

>straighten up or keep losing customers