CXXV. Flip-Flops. July 25, 2024

>driving

>not for Lyft

>me and Lucy are going to Virginia

>twelve hours in the car

>we stop at a Zaxby’s near Savannah

>I must mention that I almost always wear flip-flops

>specifically Rainbow flip-flops, as I am weirdly brand loyal

>and I drive barefoot

>I have done so ever since I moved to Florida

>actually, the flip-flops are a  compromised dream of mine

>I once had a Milton professor in college who was always barefoot

>I once saw him go to a function in a tuxedo without shoes

>my twenty-year-old self thought this was the coolest professorial quirk ever

>I mean, imagine being such a badass that they don’t even make you wear SHOES

>I swore that if I ever became a real professor I would also be shoeless

>but I am also a child of the South

>and I know what hookworms are

>so flip-flops will have to do

>Lucy stays in the car

>I go get the food from Zaxby’s

>and off we go again

>there is a Buc-ee’s near Florence, South Carolina

>it is our next stop

>Lucy loves Buc-ee’s

>I am fine with it

>Buc-ee’s is Texas distilled into a gas station

>in that the barbecue is the absolute best thing about the place

>and the rest is ridiculously big

>ridiculously self-aggrandizing

>and about half-full of slow angry white people

>for my fellow Florida residents who have never visited a Buc-ee’s

>imagine if a Sonny’s BBQ and an Alvin’s Island love each other, but could never conceive

>so they adopt a Circle K and raise it in Apopka

>and when it comes of age it works three years back of the house in the World Showcase at Epcot

>and then it clones itself and spreads across the country to such a degree that it’s the only Bible some people ever read about Florida

>that’s Buc-ee’s to Texas

>and honestly I am glad there is a giant gas station selling beachwear in Florence, South Carolina

>because the second I step out of the car

>I notice I am in possession of only one flip-flop

>the other having absolutely disappeared into thin air

>can’t find it

>it ain’t in the car

>my only theory is that I left it at Zaxby’s somehow

>I must have stepped out of it in the parking lot

>but I do not remember doing so

>and the whole thing just weirds me out

>and so Lucy must walk into  Buc-ee’s with some barefoot hillbilly

>who immediately buys flip-floos featuring cartoon gophers