LXX. Squirrel. February 8, 2021

>driving Lyft

>Super Bowl Sunday

>roads are crowded

>I am trying to turn left onto Thomasville Road without a redlight

>it is a careful maneuver

>creeping out slowly

>carefully

>sometimes they come hot over that hill at the last moment

>at the apex of my turn

>I hear somebody yell “SQUIRREL!” right in my ear

>scares me slap to death

>near bout had a heart attack

>I yell “Fuck, lady!”

>Lady in the back says “omigosh I’m SO sorry that was my phone”

>apparently her phone yells “SQUIRREL!” when she gets an email

>mfw I was almost killed by the dog from Up