LXXVI. Weedeater Guy. April 19, 2021

>driving Lyft

>my next passenger calls me

>I didn’t even know they could do that

>guy says “I got a weedeater, is that ok?”

>yes, praise him

>it is good to have weedeaters

>but his weedeater was a very long weedeater

>we had to lay down two seats to finagle it into the Prius

>he also had a hedge trimmer

>and a blue reciprocating saw covered in tar

>he looked like Sid Vicious just successfully escaped from Shawshank

>the only things clean on him were three tattoo pads

>after a while

>guy says “How much do you make doing this?”

>I say around fifteen to twenty dollars an hour

>later

>guy says “I do landscaping. I will pay you twenty dollars an hour to drive me around all day”

>I say I would prefer not to

>even later

>guy says “can I ask you a personal question?”

>sure

>”are you gay?”

>no

>”do you hate gay people?”

>I say “Come on man I ain’t got no problem with gay people”

>finally

>we end up in a fancy neighborhood off Apalachee

>I help remove the weedeater

>he heads up a driveway with his stuff

>stops

>turns around

>says “You remind me of my Uncle Charlie”

>neat