XCII. Bye. December 13, 2021

>driving Lyft

>when I arrive at a pickup location, a timer starts, and I am required to wait five minutes

>at some point during that five minutes, if I do not see them, I am required to call the passenger

>if I have called the passenger, and the timer runs out with no sign of them, I am required to leave them

>I get a small cancellation fee to make up for the wasted time

>so I go out to some whitebread subdivision about midnight on a Saturday

>I pull up to a house surrounded by parked cars

>there are so many cars that I cannot see the front door

>at the four-minute mark, I call

>it goes straight to voicemail

>I see the front door open

>several people come out

>I can only see the tops of their heads because of all the cars

>I wait, they talk

>it’s all gibberish from where I am parked

>with ten seconds left on the timer, I yell “Hey! Y’all coming or what?”

>some lady yells “WE’RE COMING! GOD DAMN!”

>that’s cute, but have you considered this

>bye