>driving Lyft >it’s late, I’m a bit loopy >there is a street called Midyette >to which I am taking this lady >so she says >”turn right when you get to…
Author: zeemonkey
I am an English professor who drives for Lyft in Tallahassee, Florida.
>driving Lyft >get called to a Howard Johnson >it is a shady place >pick up a lady and her kid, who is four or so >she says “He’s a boy’s…
>driving Lyft >this lady gets in,says “Ooo-ee! You DJ Khaled!” >accent is very thick and very Haitian >she sounded like she had decided to cook and eat French >but French…
>Driving Lyft >pick up this young lady >this young, tiny, very pregnant lady >she looked like a lowercase Thorn >she says “I’m going to the meat market” >”to buy” >then…
>driving Lyft >pick up this guy standing amongst some rundown condos >he looks like a tough guy >not a pretend tough guy >an honest-to-god tough guy >probably the leader of…
>driving Lyft >get called to a laundromat >park in front and wait >get a phone call >no hello, just “IT SAYS YOU’RE HERE BUT I DON’T SEE YOU!” >”I am…
>driving Lyft >lady gets in >says “Sir, you don’t happen to have any cologne or perfume do you?” >No, sadly I do not >Lady says “Because I STANK. Whoo! I…
>driving Lyft >met Staff Sergeant Blanks >soon you will be mailing your envy to me >because you did not meet SSGT Blanks >he got in my car at 21:30 on…
>driving Lyft >yep, I’m back >teachers in the summer need that money >got my mask and my Lysol >picked up a kid from WalMart >he was happy to be off…
>driving >not for Lyft >it’s quarantine, but we gotta get out of the house >won’t interact with people >we are discussing Burmese pythons >invasive species in South Florida >I say…