>driving Lyft >coming down Sharer Road towards Monroe >it is noon on a Monday >I must brake suddenly >there is a very attractive young lady in the middle of the…
Author: zeemonkey
I am an English professor who drives for Lyft in Tallahassee, Florida.
>driving Lyft >pick up this dude named Igor >seriously, Eastern European af >got that Boris Badenov accent >shaved head, tattoos >looks like a henchman from a Jason Statham movie >we…
>driving Lyft >pick up college kid >kid says “Hey man, you into video games?” >”Absolutely,” I say, “but I’m older than you, so my frame of reference is a bit…
>driving Lyft >there is a small red Scion in front of me >the license plate says “SO CUTE” >that would be scanned >One must be very cute indeed to justify…
>driving Lyft >take this lady to daycare to get her granddaughter >lady is wearing a mask >I wait maybe ten minutes in the parking lot >lady comes out with toddler…
>driving Lyft >11:30pm on a Friday >pick up two guys >one is Black, looks like Latrice Royale out of drag >one is white, looks like either young Seth Rogen or…
>driving Lyft >Pick up this guy at the Family Dollar >he looks like Adam Driver got a job hanging drywall >We are going down Crawfordville Road >he says “Hey, if…
>driving Lyft >pick up a lady at the hospital >she asks if I can stop by Dollar General for cigarettes >she offers me ten bucks >I would have done it…
>driving Lyft >Nine in the morning on a Saturday >pick up this young woman, can’t be thirty yet >my first ride of the day >she asks how it’s going, because…
>driving Lyft >my balls itch >my balls REALLY itch >as all people with balls know >it is not meet to LITERALLY scratch one’s balls >one must instead perform a complicated…