>driving Lyft >pick up a lady at the hospital >she asks if I can stop by Dollar General for cigarettes >she offers me ten bucks >I would have done it…
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>driving Lyft >Nine in the morning on a Saturday >pick up this young woman, can’t be thirty yet >my first ride of the day >she asks how it’s going, because…
>driving Lyft >my balls itch >my balls REALLY itch >as all people with balls know >it is not meet to LITERALLY scratch one’s balls >one must instead perform a complicated…
>driving Lyft >it’s late, I’m a bit loopy >there is a street called Midyette >to which I am taking this lady >so she says >”turn right when you get to…
>driving Lyft >get called to a Howard Johnson >it is a shady place >pick up a lady and her kid, who is four or so >she says “He’s a boy’s…
>driving Lyft >this lady gets in,says “Ooo-ee! You DJ Khaled!” >accent is very thick and very Haitian >she sounded like she had decided to cook and eat French >but French…
>Driving Lyft >pick up this young lady >this young, tiny, very pregnant lady >she looked like a lowercase Thorn >she says “I’m going to the meat market” >”to buy” >then…
>driving Lyft >pick up this guy standing amongst some rundown condos >he looks like a tough guy >not a pretend tough guy >an honest-to-god tough guy >probably the leader of…
>driving Lyft >get called to a laundromat >park in front and wait >get a phone call >no hello, just “IT SAYS YOU’RE HERE BUT I DON’T SEE YOU!” >”I am…
>driving Lyft >lady gets in >says “Sir, you don’t happen to have any cologne or perfume do you?” >No, sadly I do not >Lady says “Because I STANK. Whoo! I…