>driving Lyft >Pick up very pregnant teenager from a trailer park near the airport >She is carrying one of those Circle K Big Gulp refillable cups >Drive her past half…
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>driving Lyft >I pick up a guy in front of PetSmart on Capital Circle >he is wearing a Dunkin Donuts uniform, but otherwise looks like T-Pain >I shall call him…
>driving Lyft >pick up this lady around Tharpe and Colorado >mid-twenties, blond frogfur hair, illegible tramp stamp >has a tiny baby in a carrier >tells me we are on a…
>driving Lyft >about 9:30pm >pick up college-age black dude in FSU gear >he is on the phone with a girl >says “Yeah baby, I’m going to the liquor store right…
>driving >not for Lyft >at gas station in Crestview, FL >wish to buy energy drinks >Rockstars are 2 for 3.33 >notyourfathersrockstar.jpg >all these weirdass new flavors >bring two Rockstars back…
>driving >not for Lyft >on Pensacola >Behind some idjit with California tags >Right turn arrow is green >TWO right turn arrows are green >Cali idjit just sitting there >I lay…
>driving Lyft >FSU is playing the University of Louisiana-Monroe >FSU has a comfortable lead at halftime >I pick up a group of FSU fratboys >we proceed to get stuck in…
>driving Lyft >come home >wife says “How much did you make driving today?” > 63$ >daughter says “YAY! Now we can go to Disney World!” >sad and savage
>driving Lyft >a guy gets mad at me in traffic >rolls down his window at a redlight to yell at me >discovers I have a uniformed cop as my Lyft…
>driving Lyft >It ain’t even noon yet in Tallahassee >it’s already 95 degrees >so many people walking around in hoodies and sweatshirts >baffling