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Driving Lyft

Driving Lyft

I drive for Lyft in Tallahassee and write about it.

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XCIV. Opposite of Cop. December 13, 2021

  • zeemonkey
  • December 13, 2021February 5, 2024

>driving Lyft >pick up this older Black lady >she is quiet for most of the ride >then she says “So you’re a retired cop?” >wat >I say “Oh no, no…

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XCIII. Polka. December 13, 2021

  • zeemonkey
  • December 13, 2021February 5, 2024

>driving Lyft >it is well past midnight on the Southside >I am crawling through a labryrinthine trailer park >my passenger tries to guide me, but even she is stymied by…

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XCII. Bye. December 13, 2021

  • zeemonkey
  • December 13, 2021February 5, 2024

>driving Lyft >when I arrive at a pickup location, a timer starts, and I am required to wait five minutes >at some point during that five minutes, if I do…

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XCI. Two Exes. December 7, 2021

  • zeemonkey
  • December 7, 2021February 5, 2024

>driving Lyft >the app says I am picking up someone named “Xx” >pull into the parking lot >there is a dude standing there >nobody else is around >I say “Hey…

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XC. King. December 7, 2021

  • zeemonkey
  • December 7, 2021February 5, 2024

>driving Lyft >I pick up this little kid, about four or five, and his mother >kid says “Hello, driver. My name is King” >I say “Well hey, little man, how…

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LXXXIX. Banged Up. October 1, 2021

  • zeemonkey
  • October 1, 2021February 5, 2024

>driving Lyft >I have four college girls piled in the backseat >they look and sound like New Jersey >so probably from Miami >we are going down a crowded residential road…

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LXXXVIII. Callbox. October 1, 2021

  • zeemonkey
  • October 1, 2021February 5, 2024

>driving Lyft >I am fourth in line at one of those stupid gate callboxes >foiled by the power of gated security >with its all-knowing callbox >such a callbox prevents hooliganism…

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LXXXVII. Speedbumps. September 30, 2021

  • zeemonkey
  • September 30, 2021February 5, 2024

>driving Lyft >wandering around an apartment complex >93% of Tallahassee is apartment complex >which means 85% of the streets are nothing but speed bumps >and 90% of the game is…

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LXXXVI. Near Miss. September 30, 2021

  • zeemonkey
  • September 30, 2021February 5, 2024

>driving Lyft >heading down Park Avenue a bit too fast >I notice that I need to go to Publix >just as I am passing Publix >fuck >in that instant I…

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LXXXV. Toe Video. August 26, 2021

  • zeemonkey
  • August 26, 2021February 5, 2024

>driving Lyft >pick up this Filipina lady >sweet lady, about my age >I ask if she speaks Tagalog, since that is about the only thing I know about the Philippines…

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