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Driving Lyft

Driving Lyft

I drive for Lyft in Tallahassee and write about it.

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LXXXIV. They Quit. August 17, 2021

  • zeemonkey
  • August 17, 2021February 5, 2024

>driving >not for Lyft >me and Lucy in the McDonald’s drive-thru at noon >the line is wrapped around the building >lady dressed as a manager comes out >waves at the…

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LXXXIII. Bronson and Marty. August 17, 2021

  • zeemonkey
  • August 17, 2021February 5, 2024

>driving Lyft >imagine if you will >3:30 AM on a Tuesday >the nearly-empty parking lot of Tallahassee Community College >Action Bronson and Marty Feldman are dancing around a derelict Saturn…

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LXXXII. Scots Wha Hae. August 17, 2021

  • zeemonkey
  • August 17, 2021February 6, 2024

>driving Lyft >I am wearing the hat I always wear >it is a FAMU hat, because they sign my check >I have flag pins on it for every country and…

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LXXXI. Buy Some Bud. July 23, 2021

  • zeemonkey
  • July 23, 2021February 6, 2024

>driving Lyft >pick up this Black dude at his house >roundtrip to the smoke shop >in the parking lot, there’s this South Asian kid >driving a top-down convertible BMW >kid’s…

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LXXX. Luck. July 23, 2021

  • zeemonkey
  • July 23, 2021February 6, 2024

>driving Lyft >I pick up this lady named Luck >I say, “Hey, people out here are looking for you, ya know” >hardy har har >lady says “yes” very small >“I’m…

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LXXIX. Bonifay. July 23, 2021

  • zeemonkey
  • July 23, 2021February 6, 2024

>driving >not for Lyft >cruising through Bonifay >it is a strange place, Bonifay >there is a perfectly manicured lawn >at one end is a guy with a weedeater manicuring like…

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LXXVIII. Walking to Walgreen’s. June 1, 2021

  • zeemonkey
  • June 1, 2021February 6, 2024

cw, tw: domestic violence >driving Lyft >8:30 on a Monday >get called to a house with two sheriff’s cars outside >two deputies are talking to a Black guy in the…

  • Uncategorized

LXXVII. Unicorn Kid. April 29, 2021

  • zeemonkey
  • April 29, 2021February 6, 2024

>driving Lyft >I finally catch my unicorn at 7:10pm on a Thursday >he does not come in a form I expect >my unicorn is a teenager >a Black kid >no…

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LXXVI. Weedeater Guy. April 19, 2021

  • zeemonkey
  • April 19, 2021February 6, 2024

>driving Lyft >my next passenger calls me >I didn’t even know they could do that >guy says “I got a weedeater, is that ok?” >yes, praise him >it is good…

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LXXV. Cartoon Alien. April 17, 2021

  • zeemonkey
  • April 17, 2021February 6, 2024

>driving Lyft >pick up this Black dude with impressive dreadlocks >he says he likes my Prius >I say “Yeah, it’s a good car to have with these high gas prices”…

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