>driving Lyft >take this lady to daycare to get her granddaughter >lady is wearing a mask >I wait maybe ten minutes in the parking lot >lady comes out with toddler…
>driving Lyft >11:30pm on a Friday >pick up two guys >one is Black, looks like Latrice Royale out of drag >one is white, looks like either young Seth Rogen or…
>driving Lyft >Pick up this guy at the Family Dollar >he looks like Adam Driver got a job hanging drywall >We are going down Crawfordville Road >he says “Hey, if…
>driving Lyft >pick up a lady at the hospital >she asks if I can stop by Dollar General for cigarettes >she offers me ten bucks >I would have done it…
>driving Lyft >Nine in the morning on a Saturday >pick up this young woman, can’t be thirty yet >my first ride of the day >she asks how it’s going, because…
>driving Lyft >my balls itch >my balls REALLY itch >as all people with balls know >it is not meet to LITERALLY scratch one’s balls >one must instead perform a complicated…
>driving Lyft >it’s late, I’m a bit loopy >there is a street called Midyette >to which I am taking this lady >so she says >”turn right when you get to…
>driving Lyft >get called to a Howard Johnson >it is a shady place >pick up a lady and her kid, who is four or so >she says “He’s a boy’s…
>driving Lyft >this lady gets in,says “Ooo-ee! You DJ Khaled!” >accent is very thick and very Haitian >she sounded like she had decided to cook and eat French >but French…
>Driving Lyft >pick up this young lady >this young, tiny, very pregnant lady >she looked like a lowercase Thorn >she says “I’m going to the meat market” >”to buy” >then…